Life's a bottle of whiskey! :)

CONTENT SUGGESTION: No intention to promote alcoholism. Just an analogy between alcohol and life in general. This post is dedicated to all the drinkers out there. Cheers!

My pal Ninad (aka Nini) had just flown in from the US of A after a sabbatical from his daily college routine as a Khalsaite. A respite from his drab college life fraught with assignments and super nerdy projects, it was obvious that he'll rant about two things:

a) Booze and b) booze and all it's varieties that he's had there. ;)

We decided to meet up to gossip and our common friend Sonam joined in too. So there began our conversation and finally we came to the topic of Scotch. Ninad was talking about Ila, a premium scotch that has 75% alcohol. That reminded me of an Indian "Scotch" brand called "KUCH NAHI" (Nothing). Apparently, it was named after our Indian mannerisms to deny something when offered to eat or drink. For example, an Indian host would politely ask the guest "Kya logey? Thanda ya garam?" (What would you like to have? Any hot or cold beverage?) and we're supposed to say "Kuch Nahi". That's just an antithesis because deep within, we want to eat something, you can hear stomachs rumbling but it would be "rude" if you just say yes and start eating.

The host nevertheless brings in his arsenal of snacks and offers it to you. On the flip side, you're supposed to wait until you're pestered to the point of letting your hunger pangs get the better of you.

It's not a bummer if you'd find a Mr. Varma eating his heart out and gorging on those delicious, calorie-rich Samosas and fart-inducing snacks right after that. Indian traditions, see!

So we just laughed it off by saying how we can avoid getting caught by our moms. Mom:

"Kya tuney pee rakhi hain, kya pee rahaa tha tu dosto ke saath?" (You're drunk, what on god's green earth were you drinking?) Son: Kuch Nahi! (Nothing!). Quite a funny brand to start with, and it's even funnier because they proudly state that it's one of the finest Indian scotch brands! "Indian Scotch!"

I would like to quote Forrest Gump's mumma here, "Life's a box of chocolates". I beg to differ though it's one of my top 3 movies of all time. Life's a bottle of whiskey!!! You've got to finish it in 4 quarters! (The one with the maximum capacity can finish all four quarters and yet be steady eddie, but very rare though). Here's how it's similar to alcohol:

1 to 12 years- You take a few swigs and enjoy the "happy mode" you're in right now. Everything seems calm and you've got zero tension. You're simply not fearful of what lays ahead. You just enjoy the kick and proudly say that you want to become either a pilot, a doctor or an actor or any army man. Who's going to be the Marketing guy or the average Joe driving cabs around??? Well life lets us take the path later so why worry? Just enjoy and chill! Challenges? What's that?

13 to 25 years - Here's when things start getting a tad tough to handle. The quarter life crisis with it's big hairy butt is waiting for you because when you're 25, you're one quarter down! :) Still, you manage it somehow. You topple and think it should be over when it actually isn't! You fake it with a smile and pretend everything's just fine and you'll handle it all on your own. Challenges seem endless and so do it's boundaries! It's all about me now, why should I stay responsible! Cut me some slack, let me enjoy my life and don't mess with me, mate!

25-50 years - You start off with another quarter, vowing to adhere to the rules of drinking properly (which actually translates into being mature and taking decisions wisely rather than in a jiffy in real life context), you slip up at times (drink too fast) or even barf all over the place (when you're seriously in deep trouble). But the solider has to toughen up and get going.

50-75 years - You know you've reached your capacity but some bravehearts still are flamboyant as can be! (read colourful personalities, stylish businessmen, ex or current rock band members, etc.). They live life kingsize and don't bother about what the consequences could be. Third quarter down, your head's still buzzing and you still ask the question, What have you done all this while? Some give up before this and pass away. To some, alcohol is life and to most life's like alcohol. Volatile and ready to play tricks around.

75-100 years - Now this is where most people fail, this is the heavyweight section, people with some serious capacity. Health-conscious and villagers can easily pull this off without any ailment. People earlier had the capacity to down 4 quarters and live the life happily until they're satisfied with the amount they've drunk (read lived).

After you're too drunk, it's time to say good-bye and lo! your 4 quarters are done with! Bravo! ;) You've made it to the Cream league of drinkers.

Isn't it quite similar to life per se? You start off with small sips when you're small (and enjoy the moment), then you get a bit sluggish once you're done with your first quarter. There are bitter incidents you want to forget, so the alcohol (let's say time in this case) lessens the effect and you move on. Well, that's life.

Once the second quarter is underway (25 to 50 years), your retrospection and yearning towards better life keep you going. You stumble as you're already buzzed (read bad and good experience, maturity, wrong decisions) but still you can do well. People with great capacity to drink (Read do well and have some serious determination to push) perform while some languish. At the end of it all, when it's time for the third quarter, you know it's about time you quit as you're past your prime, you can't keep your act together but you have to keep going. You have to keep going for your family, your parents, kids and truckloads of other responsibilities that won't let you hang up your boots.

Very few get to savour the taste of the fourth quarter as it tests your limitations and capacity!!! Even if you do have it, you don't enjoy it and wish you didn't have to live this long (to see others pass away, to be looked upon as liabilities by your sons). At the end of it all, you pass away after downing too much of this volatile thing called "ALCOHOL"! That is life, isn't it? ;)

Drink responsibly, drive safely, enjoy the buzz, stay safe and keep others around you safe too! ;)

Salut!

Jatin